Got this message while I was on vacation. I’ve held off on answering it until now, because I was still figuring out exactly how to respond.
Short answer: yeah, you’re right.
Lots of you remember bimboisbetter, the blog I had before this one. Well, before that, I had another one. Same idea - bimbofication stories and captions. Wrote for about a month. Had maybe a dozen followers, four or five likes, zero reblogs. No interest, basically. Disappointed me a bit, but hey, I never expected to become internet famous or anything, y’know?
But I saw how much attention the girls running bimbo blogs got, and I wondered if that’s all it was - the thrill of seeing a girl writing this sort of stuff, instead of just another guy. So I closed down the old one, started up bimboisbetter, and told people who asked that I was a girl.
Instantly it was ten times more successful than my old blog. In three days I had more attention than I’d gotten in the whole life of the first one. I was completely overwhelmed.
Things took on a life of their own. People contacted me, wanting to talk about my kinks, and about their kinks. I made friends. All of a sudden ‘Summer’ wasn’t just a character I made up, she was a representation of me. It was a way for me to explore kinks and fetishes I’ve always had and never been able to express. All the things I talked about along those lines was very honest and from the heart. It’s just that the whole time, I wore a mask of a person I wasn’t.
For a long time it was kind of a performance piece thing. Y’know, like a writing challenge. The story of ‘Summer’, as told via the blog, was kind of a meta-story itself. Watching her discover herself, embrace the bimbo side of herself - all that was meant to be a story just like the smaller, daily pieces I was writing. I just got… bogged down. I enjoyed the people here too much. Actually forged relationships with them. People I really like and care for now, who I feel guilty as hell about misleading. I hate that those relationships are built on false pretenses, because I know I’ve ruined my chance to stay friends with anyone. I apologize for all that.
I’ve got a girlfriend who I live with, and to the best of my knowledge, she doesn’t know the first thing about this blog. Or she might, I suppose. Maybe I’m not as sneaky as I think. Who knows? Point is, I’ve been fixated on this blog for too long, as it’s fucking up that relationship, and I’ve got to stop that. Hell, at work yesterday I spent more time surreptitiously checking in here and working on stories and trying to figure out what to do than I did actually working. It’s messing up my life, and it’s embarrassing.
I’ve been feeling like shit about this for a while now, but didn’t see a way out of it. It’s pretty clear now that there isn’t one other than this - coming clean, and shutting the whole deal down. I thought about it a lot while I was away, and now that I’m back I’ve been unable to live with it anymore. I’m going to post this, set my queue to post the last nine or ten stories I’ve got written, and that’ll be the end.
When I get home tonight I’m planning to simply delete everything and be done with it. If there’s anything you feel like you’ll miss, now’s the time to save it or reblog it or whatever, I suppose. People were upset about that when bimboisbetter went away, so I figure I should give you the opportunity here.
I thought about just shutting everything down with no comment, but you guys deserve better than that. I’d like to do it in a way that leaves you with positive memories of me, but I suppose the cost of dishonesty is that I don’t really deserve that.
Thank you all for always treating me with such kindness. I’m sorry I didn’t live up to it.
Thanks for coming clean. But people love you for what you created. Don’t let your guilt cloud that. Remember that you’re awesome and you made an awesome thing.